Saturday, July 29, 2006


Friends, it's day 40.

This is my last entry of my 40 Days of Praise. A lot of things happened during this time and I've got to say that keeping my heart focused on the Cross has made an incredible difference in my relationship with God.

During the last 40 Days of my life I left one job and began another. I watched my dear friend suffer as her 14 year old cousin passed away after a painful battle with cancer. I comforted my son after his friend committed suicide. I completed my application to go on board as staff at my church. I had lunch and reconciled with an old friend whom I had not seen or spoken to in 3 years. I have laughed more. Cried less. I have fallen in love with Jesus Christ all over again.

I praise God for my life today. It came to mind recently that I am ready to meet God at any time because I am living in every moment. I am fully alive - completely reconciled with my humanity and God's divinity. This conviction comes from my intimate relationship with God. Knowing I am loved by God has changed my life. I humbly ask that God would use me to spread Christ's message of love. If nothing else, I pray my life would sing unto only God.

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love (one another) like that. --Ephesians 5:1-2

Friday, July 28, 2006


Lamb of God
You take away
The sins of all the world
Have mercy on us

Lamb of God
You take away
The sings of all the world
Grant us peace

Praising God for Rwanda and for the opportunity He's granted me. Father, I love you and am unworthy of your fine love.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

(Guest Praise by Janine)

I know this is bold, but something today inspired me to write this praise. Instead of throwing a pity party, I rather praise the God almighty who has every detail of my life in his hands. Trials in our lives are underestimated. We complain and ask God why? Why do I have to go through this? But in reality we should be thankful for them for several reasons.

They bring us closer to God. My intercessor is my friend, as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.  --Job 16:20-21

They prepare us for what God wants to do in our lives. We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. --Rom 5:3-4

They help us appreciate the good times and the blessings we have. Your father's blessings are greater than the blessings of the ancient mountains, than the bounty of the age-old hills.--Gen. 49:26

When I decided to go to Rwanda I had no idea that so soon before the trip I would lose my job, and that my little cousin Thassiana would pass away. I know that God's timing is perfect, I know he allowed these things to happen and that He will use them for his Glory. As much as these things seem to be distraction from what He wants me doing, I have to also believe that He was actually freeing me up, away from the stresses of my job and concerns about my cousin. He wanted me free to serve him in mighty ways. So as we prepare our hearts for Rwanda, I can thankfully say: Lord I am ready, use me, and thank you for the trials you have put me through, they have made me stronger and even more ready to serve you!

Thassiana met Jesus today

From Janine's Blog
July 25

When I got the news I cried. I laid on my bed and sobbed. I screamed why? God why? I know He has a purpose for her life, for her suffering and for her death, but those of us who were close to her will always wonder why. She was a perfect child, smarter than most, and with an amazing spirit. She was super active and playful, loved to tell jokes and play games, in fact that's what she did until a few days before she went into a coma. She had plans to get her driver's license and go to college, she wanted to be a veterinarian. She was the life of the party and a born leader, one of those girls that everyone follows around and who tells the others what to do. When she was 11 she was diagnosed with cancer, she was operated and treated then, and was cancer free for 2 years after that. At age 13, exactly 2 years ago, the tumors came back.

The life expectation for someone with recurring maduloblastoma is 6 months, but not for Thassi, she lived two years defying all odds and what the doctors had to say. She was a fighter, loved life like no one else. For the last two years she did not mind the fact that she didn't look her best. She was swollen from her medication, lost her hair and had many scars all over her little body and yet would not miss an opportunity to go out, and always in style. Her shoes, clothes, earrings and hat all had to match, and she would not leave the house without her lip-gloss. She suffered; she endured massive amounts of pain, medication, surgeries, not to mention the emotional pain. She went through so much and yet without complaining. She was a life example to many of us. I know her suffering is over, I know she is with Jesus now and her body is perfect again, just as it was in her mom's womb. For us who are left, remain the memories, the smiles, and the hope that we'll see her again someday.

I leave you with my favorite pictures of her, because this is how I want to remember her, always smiling.

I appreciate prayers for my family at this time.
Thanks for being a part of our journey

Dearest Janine,

My prayers are for you and your family. My God comfort you. I know Thassi is at peace with Jesus. I praise God that you have been released from the burden of worrying for Thassi's physical strength and that you now have the comfort of knowing she is with God.

With Love,

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


California has been my home for most of my life. If you were to ask me, I'd say I'm a California girl. And today I am praising God for allowing me to live in such a cool place. I love it here.
I have all sorts of fond memories of going to the beach as a kid. Of body surfing in the waves and flopping around in the ocean. I have wonderful memories of going for clam chowder down at the pier with my grandpa or having coffee down on Lido island with my girlfriends. I truly love this place and I will certainly miss it while I am away on my missions trip.

Another thing I love about this place is its diversity. It doesn't matter where you are from or what you're into, there is a place for you in California. I love the openess and the spirit of the people here.

Lord, thank you for my home here in California
I praise you for all these good years in this good place
Some say we're gonna fall into the ocean
But that's okay
I can swim all right
and I've got You

Father, you have gifted me with a home of sunshine
and diversity
You have brought me here now to do your will
and the people here have touched my heart
I remain a willing servant to them for your glory
God, you are good.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

(from Guest Blogger, Gina)

Today I am praising God for being El Shaddai, The All Sufficient One. I have been fighting spiritual war in my life for several years, and it's been especially tough in the last 5 months or so, as I've left behind a lifestyle of sin, and said good-bye to loved ones to re-commit my life to Jesus. However, as all who have surrendered know, it's not the easiest thing to do. In fact, sometimes I feel overwhelmed with spiritual attack as I am tempted to contact people I shouldn't and go places I know will drag me down.

Yesterday during one of these "moments", I tripped and fell. I didn't go all the way down, but it hurt my heart, and definitely set me back in the grieving process. Anxiety arose.. you know, the kind you feel when you take your eyes off Jesus.

As a result of my tripping, I had a rough night lastnight and ended up crying myself to sleep in despair.. in total sadness and grief of a loss.. a sacrifice. This morning as I read my devotional, how fitting it was for God to show up with just the right story and words to sanitize my wounds. The study spoke of the Exodus.. the Israelites journey out of slavery to the Promised Land. In the reading, I was reminded of God's desire for me to respond to my circumstances and temptations with HIS knowledge rather than simply reacting in my flesh.

First, the Galatians 5:16-17 were quoted in the text which say that as Christians we can no longer do what we want to do.. instead, we must choose to "walk by the Spirit". I read a piece of the Exodus story again, as outlined in the devotional, and was reminded of how He brought them ( and me) out from under the burdens of "Egypt"... how He redeemed them (and me) with an outstretched arm.. how He provided their (and my) redemption from "Egypt" through the blood of the Lamb (passover for them, Jesus for me)... how He drowned their ( and my) enemies in the "Red Sea"... and how He delivered them (and me) overall.

What a striking parallel to what I am faced with in my own life as He leads me away from my own "Egypt"! And how thankful I am to God for meeting me where I was at,,, for assuring me that He is right here to protect me.. that when I am tempted (and like yesterday when I gave in to a portion of the temptation), that He is holding my hand and right here to keep me from going all the way down.

After I stubbed my toe, He cradled me in His ever-loving arms and rocked me while I wept. He counted every tear that fell.. symbolic of a sacrifice of fleshly desires to follow Him. I died a little more to myself lastnight, and though it was extremely uncomfortable, it grew me closer to God. It caused me to fall more in love with Him and understand more of His love for me.

As He is a God that cannot lie, I know He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).I praise Him for being my All Sufficient God.

Monday, July 24, 2006


I am so tired! I said...I am so TIRED! I worked a very long day at the office and got home around 8:30pm. All I can think about at this moment is cheese. I'd love a grilled cheese sandwich right about now but I don't have any bread. So I am eating a piece of cheese while I post tonight. But you know what? In my heart, I'm still praising! This cheese tastes good.

I praise God that I can open my fridge and there is food inside. I was so broke years ago. I really had to watch my food budget. I uploaded this silly picture of a grilled cheese sandwich for fun and I see there are some potato chips on the plate. Mmmmm. Ones with ridges no less. In my poorest of poor days, it would have been unthinkable for me to purchase potato chips. They were such a luxury. Now, I could certainly throw a bag into my shopping cart and pay for it with no worries.

Tonight, I am so grateful to God for all that I have. He has kept me fed, my son fed and given me so much more than I ever imagined. God, you are good. Lord, I thank you for your generous provisions.

Other random thoughts this evening include a praise to God for the beautiful sky I witnessed tonight as I left my office building. I don't believe my eyes would have captured that moment had I left any sooner. Not a bad surprise for working late!

Lord, your beauty, your imagination is amazing.

Sunday, July 23, 2006


God knows that we can only do so much. Then why do we try to outdo God and run around like crazy people seven days a week? Today is Sunday and I'm praising God for my Sabbath today. My son is home and we're going to church together and then we'll probably hit the county Fair later on this evening. But the majority of the day is going to be spent at home doing nothing but connecting with one another and God.

Exodus 20:8
Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Work six days and do everything you need to do. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to God, your God. Don't do any work—not you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your servant, nor your maid, nor your animals, not even the foreign guest visiting in your town. For in six days God made Heaven, Earth, and sea, and everything in them; he rested on the seventh day. Therefore God blessed the Sabbath day; he set it apart as a holy day.

Does this mean I can't ask my son to clean his room?

Saturday, July 22, 2006


Day 33 of Praise has been a great one so far. Went to a conference this morning and got to spend some quality time with the small group leaders I serve.

The weather here in Southern California is gorgeous today. Lots of sun, mild breeze. I went and had a strawberry milkshake about an hour ago and now I'm settling down to relax a bit before church this evening.

Lord, I praise you for perfect days
For days that begin with worship
For today, I heard the whole earth worship you
and joined in with my heart...

Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and all its fullness; let the field be joyful, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the woods will rejoice before the Lord. For He is coming, for He is coming to judge the earth. He shall judge the world with righteousness, and the peoples with His truth. --Psalm 96:11-14

Friday, July 21, 2006


This morning I am singing in my heart to my Beautiful One. Jesus, you are Master of my heart. Each day I look to the cross. I know I'm not perfect but I understand that's no reason not to seek you.

When I consider that you came to us as a man and experienced all that we experience, I am further humbled. You came to touch, to hug, to converse with, to laugh with. You came to show us just how generous and loving a human being can be.

Beautiful One
Wonderful, so wonderful
Is your unfailing love
Your cross has spoken mercy over me
No eye has seen no ear has heard
No heart could fully know
How glorious, how beautiful you are.

Beautiful one I love
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.

Powerful so powerful
Your glory fills the skies
Your mighty works displayed for all to see (beautiful)
The beauty of your majesty
Awakes my heart to see
How marvelous how wonderful you are.

Beautiful one I love
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing
Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.

You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you (Jesus)
You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you.

Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing
Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.

And you opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on earth is as beautiful as you.

My soul, my soul must sing,
My soul, my soul must sing,
My soul, my soul must sing,
Beautiful One.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


This is my friend, Janine. A sister in Christ without a doubt.

God has brought so many wonderful women into my life. I am grateful that he introduced me to this woman when he did. She serves alongside me on our team at church, she's been there for me as a friend, and plainly, when I share with her...she just GETS IT.

J, has shown her strength and tenderness in our friendship and I am very blessed to have her in my life.

Father, I praise you for this woman
I thank you for my friend
For one who understands
For one who's patient with me
Lord, you call the shots
And you brought us together
For a time such as this
To serve you
To love and honor you
Dear One, you are good
For in me, love abounds for my kind friend, Janine

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up again. --Ecclesiastes 4:9-10


I'll refresh tired bodies; I'll restore tired souls. Jeremiah 31:25

I spoke with someone recently who was feeling a lot of inner conflict. I think this person may have wanted some advice. The only thing I could think to say was praise God for the conflict you are currently feeling. It means you have a soul. It means you are alive.

Feeling SOMETHING, ANYTHING...even if it's conflict...well, it's a great place to be.

For a long time I felt nothing. No conflict. No peaks. No valleys. It was during the 3 years I was on medication for anxiety and depression. I couldn't write. I never really felt a laugh deep. I never had a deep soulful cry.

I guess I felt a little bit of conflict. The type of conflict that sits in your head, not your soul. I mean, I felt okay, I felt functional because I wasn't crying all the time but I felt foolish for masking my emotions with a pill if that makes any sense.

I understand sometimes people need medication to bring them to a certain level of stability. You stablize and then perhaps you can move forward. I mean, I get it. I am not against such medications. But medications often only treat symptoms.

God's medicine treats the soul. His word and His love provide for REAL healing. For REAL life.

Lord, tonight I praise you for gifting me with a soul
Lord, I praise you for tending to my soul so considerately
You are my sweet sweet Lord indeed


Hello friends. I could not post yesterday because the batteries in my wireless mouse went kaput! But I was praising in my heart!

The other night thunder and lightening rolled through my town. It was a hot night and my bedroom window was open. I awoke to the sounds of incredible thunder. My heart raced. Clap! Boom! The earth shook. In my head I heard, "Be still and know that I am God."

Those who oppose the LORD will be shattered.
He will thunder against them from heaven;
the LORD will judge the ends of the earth.
"He will give strength to his king
and exalt the horn of his anointed."
1 Samuel 2:10

I lay there still as a pin. Clap! Boom! Crash! Inside, I was shaking. The awesomeness of God. All powerful and completely in control. God is a storm. A force. God is mighty.

Monday, July 17, 2006


Yeah. This post is weak. I admit it, but I really am convicted about the importance of a snack every now and then.

A snack, in the more philosophical sense, is a break from life. A rest from the routine. A snack, no matter what it is, offers refreshment and can rejuvenate our smile and attitude. Seriously, waive a Little Debbie in front of my face...I don't care WHAT KINDA DAY I'M HAVING...alls good for that moment. : )

Mark 6:30 teaches us about taking a break:
[ After the Supper for Five Thousand ] The apostles then rendezvoused with Jesus and reported on all that they had done and taught. Jesus said, "Come off by yourselves; let's take a break and get a little rest." For there was constant coming and going. They didn't even have time to eat.

So the next time you have some cheese and crackers, a few cookies or even a handful of grapes, praise the Father who encourages us to get OVER our BUSY LIVES and rest in Him.


Hello praisers! Wow. I've been praising for 28 days straight. If you have been praising alongside me, how are you doing?

My tongue will speak of your righteousness and of your praises all day long. Psalm 35:28

Sunday, July 16, 2006


My neighbor's son is 3 years old. He came up to me the other day and without notice, threw his arms around my legs and hugged me. It's been a long time since I received such an innocent and spontaneous gesture. His passionate emotion found its way from his heart into his arms and without hesitation he was soon hanging on me. I felt his pure motivation to joyfulness.

Friends, that hug felt so good.

It's been a long time since I held a child who trusted me. I mean, we can pick up kids and put them down, coo over babies, try and have a chat with a stubborn kid. But honestly, connecting with a child who trusts you brings about something in me I can hardly put to words.

Do you suppose God feels this way about us?

My sister's youngest daughter is very, what I'd call, "huggy." She enjoyed sitting with me and stroking my hair while I visited her this last May. Again, this interaction brought joy to my heart. But I am not around to see this child grow. I get letters. I get pictures. But those hugs. Nothing replaces them. That physical touch, it's powerful. And how I miss it.

Today I praise God for being in every detail of my life. I imagine the Father God who loves me and delights in my trust in him. I praise the One who coos over me and chats with me when I am stubborn. I praise the kind Creator who longs for the surrender of my senses...who waits to enjoy what comes from my heart and passes through me without motivation for his approval, without motivation to just be obedient...with only the desire to express joy in the pure manner in which I was created to display such lavish emotion.

Lord, thank you for being in every detail. For creating these pangs in my heart to know you more.

Thank you for offering me instances where I can feel more deeply my own creation for your pleasure.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


Reading comments on the last post, it sat on my heart about what Tina was saying about kisses.

What is it about a kiss? Kisses to comfort. Kisses to show adoration. The humble kiss.

Kisses are from God. Rooted in deep expression. Bathed in emotions ranging from the humble to the incredible. Kissses heal. Kisses betray. Kisses, well...they're plainly pretty powerful. Something so small and yet so powerful could only come from God.

I went searching for some cool pictures of kisses. I found many that I'm sharing with you here. Each one of these kisses touch my heart. I feel the joy, the relief, the bewilderment within these images. I begin to understand the awesome power, the often misunderstood expression of a kiss.

Friends, let's praise the One who created us to enjoy giving and receiving a kiss.

1 Thessalonians 5:26
Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.
I look at these photos and see emotion thriving in a broken world. I imagine a world held together by the seemingly simple kiss. I see the world motivated to LIFE by love for fellow man.

I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?
Psalm 8:3-4

Friends, our Father has enveloped us in His awesome kiss. Today I praise Him for touching my soul with his kiss.

Friday, July 14, 2006


Janine reminded me of how it was that I would know Tina.
Janine reminded me of how it was that we would be heading to Rwanda together.

Thassiana is Janine's cousin. This child has been suffering from advanced stages of Meduloblastoma. As I post these words, Thassia sleeps in an induced coma. Her pain is so great that doctors had to do something to ease her suffering.

I ask why God allows ones to suffer. I ask God why children suffer.

I feel convicted it was Thassiana's purpose in life that her illness would bring Janine and I together. Then, shortly afterwards, bring Tina and I together. And then Gina. I feel convicted that Thassiana is the reason we head to Rwanda.

The story goes that Janine decided to take time off from her life to return to Brazil to spend time with Thassiana. She gave up her apartment and went without pay in order to do this. It was during that time I met Janine and I recall praying intently about whether or not I should offer my spare room to her. I had not lived with a roommate in nearly 10 years but I had a spare room. Janine placed her things in storage but introduced me to Tina who co-hosted her small group. Tina moved in and we hit it off immediately and she became like family to me and Forrest.

And you know, one thing lead to another. But this chain of events...I am crying as I write these words...these events, as Tina says, are no coincidence.

Friends, God is in control of this universe. It belongs to Him. We belong to Him. If you don't completely understand this, my prayers are that you will someday.

Friends, please praise the Life of Thassiana with me this morning. Lift her spirit to our generous Lord in prayer.

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, "Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?" Jesus said, "You're asking the wrong question. You're looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause and effect here. Look instead for what God can do. John 9:1-3

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. Romans 8:22-24

Lord, I am waiting to see your face. Let no trial diminish my desire. Let no pain diminish the spirit of my sisters in Christ.

Thursday, July 13, 2006


Merely hearing God's law is a waste of your time if you don't do what he commands. Doing, not hearing, is what makes the difference with God. --Romans 2:13

Obedience isn't easy. Tonight Gina took us through a study on obedience. She walked us through the story in Genesis where God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Abraham acts upon God's instruction without question.

I have my own Isaac. Maybe you do too. I have things in my life that I've yet to surrender to but I am grateful for God's patience with me. Tonight, I praise God for his patience and loving presence in my life.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


These are my sisters in Christ. I love them with all my heart and my heart is full of praise and thanks for the One who brought us together. I don't know where my life would be without these 3 ladies. Just as Tina said on Monday, there are no "coincidences." My meeting these gals was planned by God and I'm ever-grateful.

Ladies, I love you. I am so blessed to be serving in Rwanda alongside you.

Father in Heaven, I praise you.

Lord, thank you for these women
Thank you for their precious hearts
which they so humbly turned towards mine
Thank you for Tina's laughter
For Gina's spirit
For Janine's strength
Thank you for their collective courage
God, you knew just what I needed

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


Long days at the office on my new job. This evening, I'm praising God for sleep. Sweet, restful sleep.

You all know the prayer...

Now I lay me down to sleep...

Monday, July 10, 2006


Hello praisers! 3 weeks down and I really feel great praising each day. I was giving more frequent praise updates but decided a weekly update should be pretty good. For those of you who've been following along, thank you thank you!
(by Guest Blogger: TiNA)

Coincidence: A sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged.

Thank you, but I don't believe in coincidences. I am changing the definition to "God-structured" moments.

God's timing is perfect! I can look back over my life thus far and see these "coincidence" moments. Was it a coincidence that my current roommate and I, who used to live by ourselves, both needed to find a new place to live at the same time. Was it accidental that we were in the same small group and shared the same prayer request. How strange it was that Danielle's heart had been moved to want to rent a room in her house when it looked like I was going to go a couple of months without housing. And... that she mentioned it to my future roommate. It is also amazing that we all get along and do not get on each other's nerves.

But... I guess I was just lucky... or maybe it was God.

I choose God.

God sees the bigger picture. In Mere Christianity, CS Lewis describes how God and humans view time like that of an author and the character in the story. God the author knows the ending. He knows how and when to set in motion events that will effect the bigger picture. Where we are like the character in the story. We only know the past and present. We do not know the end or what is going on with other characters to create that jaw-dropping climax and conclusion. A suspense book is not suspenseful to the author, just those who don't know the end. (Must read that chapter in the book, because I butchered it. Mere Christianity, book iv, chapter 3, Time and Beyond)

I praise God for the song that plays on the radio that you "really needed to hear today"
Friends that out of the blue say the tough stuff you needed to hear
Pastors that prepare and preach that whole sermon just for me, even though there are tons more listening
The cards/emails of encouragement right when I need it
The hug of a friend when I was feeling down (but they didn't know)
The buddy that logs onto IM the moment I was wondering how they were doing
Meeting my beautiful nieces after 9 months of waiting and not knowing what they were going to look like

Please comment on other moments that were so "God-structured" that only He can be given the glory!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


Sunday, July 09, 2006


Loving you
kind King,
for the joy you take in loving me

What creature am I to you?

that you'd create this life
for me
that you'd create second chances
and love I've yet to see

asking only that I believe

What love you have for me
unfounded, I'd suggest

try as I might
I try my best
lover of mine
in you I rest

Loving you
of Light
What creature is woman to you?

that you'd create these hands
that write
that you'd create this voice
that speaks of perils deep

What love have you for me
in my desires weak?

all my life,
longing for thee
for whom I cannot see
my Lord, my Lord, my Lord come to me

all my life,
this deep longing
for whom I cannot see
my Lord, my Lord, my Savior, I come to thee

~lyrics by Danielle, July 2006

Saturday, July 08, 2006


Friends, it is beyond comforting to know that I blog within a community of such kind believers. Your comments on my blog are generous, so generous.

I am simply praising God today. God, you are great. God you are here now.

I would like to share the lyrics from a song I love. I praise the God who created birds to sing in the dead of night. He longed to hear their songs. He is waiting to hear ours.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arive
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

It is 4:00 a.m. Saturday morning. I did not post a praise yesterday but when I said 40 Days of Praise, I meant it. 40 Days.

Yesterday was tough on my heart. I was not in a position to blog until, perhaps after dinner but I found myself weeping and then I fell asleep.

This is Friday's post.

I praise God for His unfailing love. He sees my heart. He rewards my obedience and yet allows me to come to Him, to make my own decisions. There was a decision I made recently that left me in conflict. I struggle to understand this now. This decision involves me keeping in contact with a man whom I feel attracted to but that I know I should not pursue because he doesn't share my faith.

What I find powerful about my interaction with him is that it very quickly drew attention to what I feel inside and struggle with on a deeper level.

My tears aren't for him, my tears are for my future husband. I wonder, God, did you create someone for me? And how long until he gets here? My tears are for God. To show him this hurts.

Friends, as a child did you ever steal something? Did you ever take something that wasn't yours? Maybe it was a candy bar or a toy. Maybe you took an extra cookie when you were instructed not to. That's how I feel. I'm that child being asked to return what is not mine. These tears express my shame and my disappointment that this will not be mine. But I am obedient. I trust the Father who loves me and instructs me.

I praise God for friends. My friend was there for me Friday night to talk. She shared with me something I find as REAL as I find controversial. Many men who are not Christians are drawn to the Christian woman because she is humbled, she is honorable, she is loving and very real. We are an anomaly in this ugly world. The struggle we face in our hearts is disruptive and can be costly if we are not accountable to one another.

I feel this man is drawn to me. I feel myself being drawn to him and I think: this is stupid. But he isn't the first and he will not be the last. This is a battle I feel I will be engaged in for a long time, maybe even for the rest of my life. God's love will always be enough. But I face that God's love won't translate into a pair of arms around me at night.

Father, I praise you
Lord, I love you with all my heart
And last night, I wept at the foot of the cross
Asking to understand your unfailing love for me
Feeling wretched and weak
Humbled by my curiousity and selfish desire
Humbled by your love outstretched for ME
And, Father I wept for those who do not yet know you
I wept for those whom I feel I could love
I wept for my heart that deceives me
I called out for your truth to guide me
Gracious Redeemer, I praise you for the Cross

Father, I praise you
Lord, I love you with all my heart


P.S. I ate a Klondike Bar mid-way through this post. Friends, I think I'm gonna be okay. Thank you for continuing to read...

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. 1 Chronicles 16:11

Friends, I did not post this morning because I had to be at work early. This new contract is requiring a lot of my time. Today was a good day but a day in which I had to have immense patience and strength.

Hmmm. Tough day at work. Feeling very burnt out and tired. Feeling exhausted. Cried on my drive home out of sheer frustration. Sounds like a good time to praise my Sweet Lord!!! So here goes...(this is better than Advil, trust me!)

Father, I praise you tonight for your strength
Lord, you are my ROCK
You are the foundation upon which I lay my life
You are awesome
And in that word: A-W-E-S-O-M-E,
You are so-much-more
To me it means, Mighty
To me It means King
It means Savior

Lord, you are Good.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


I'm 2 weeks into my 40 Days and I have to say that God has been constantly on my heart. My problems didn't go away. My life remained the same. But I feel more connected to God than ever. Father, thank you for creating me in your image. Thank you for creating me so that you could love me and teach me your ways.

This morning I am just plainly praising God. I'm praising God for being bigger than little ole' me. Without God in my life, I'd be no where.

Lord, thank you for being the gracious Father than you are
God, you are Awesome
And this life wouldn't be a life without you
And this heart wouldn't be full with joy without you
These words are written for my risen Savior
These praises all for the One in Heaven who pursued my heart
for so many years and finally caught me!
Your love refreshes my spirit
Your love refreshes my soul

Friends, I pray you are praising God in your hearts this morning. If you are burnt out and need refreshement, go before him and honor him. He wants to know you. He longs to be in a 2-way relationship with you. I'd like to leave you with this encouragement,

It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself--Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration. John 4:23-24 (MSG)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


I gotta say that the Fourth of July probably isn't my favorite holiday. I'm thinking this is because it involves BBQs and because I don't eat meat. There's always that awkward moment when I slap my veggie dogs onto the grill. I'm also not a big fan of picnics. I love all the food at picnics but that's really where it ends.

My sister lives in England now and when I spoke with her this weekend, she shared with me that her daughters wanted to have watermelon and hotdogs for dinner in honor of America's Independence Day. But getting watermelon in a tiny English town like my sister's would be a feat. And she tells me that hotdogs are typically sold in cans or jars.


And this is what got me thinking. I really am blessed to have been born in America and I'm blessed to be living here now instead of in a place that sells hotdogs in cans (I mean, even though I don't eat hot dogs, this is still, plainly WRONG). God, I love America and I thank you for,

Apple Pie
Jimi Hendrix
Diet Coke
Martin Luther King
Duke Ellington
Frank Lloyd Wright
John Steinbeck
International House of Pancakes
San Francisco
The Colorado Rockies
The Redwood Forests
My freedom
My rights as a woman


Monday, July 03, 2006


Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet - John 13 (NIV)

It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.

The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."

"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"

Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

This morning I'm praising God for allowing me the opportunity and privilege to serve others. I have the privilege to serve as a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend and as a leader in the singles community at my church.

Jesus Christ gave us the loving example of a servant's heart. Sometimes, I don't feel that I am worthy to serve. I will admit that it is often easier to serve complete strangers than to serve family and close friends. I'm working on this, asking God to humble me further. I need the constant reminder of the Cross. I fix my compass on the Lamb. I praise God for his generosity that he has called my heart and given me such an orchard to work. I will never forget these days of my life. Service to others in Christ's name is part of my foundation in Him that I hope to build on for the rest of my life.

Sunday, July 02, 2006


All seems well. I am beginning to get caught up on reading your blogs and sharing your praises. My son has been with me for a full week now. PRAISE indeed! The weather here in Southern California couldn't be beat. AND, it's a 4 day holiday weekend.

My heart is filled with the spirit of God. I've been trying to spend some quiet quality time in prayer and reflection. I hope your hearts are resting in Him as well.

Praise be to God.


I want to thank God today for my home. I offer praise to him for the provisions he's made in my life. I never thought I would be so blessed as to become a homeowner. I can't say if it will be in my future to own this home forever, I'm leaving this in the Father's hands. I still desire to go and work for my church full time. I am willing to sacrifice my home for this purpose. But while I am here now, I praise God for his generosity.

In this home I've had the chance to live with my son. This has brought us closer together. I've also had 2 very special godly roommates lead to me and built lasting friendships with each woman.

So today, Lord, I praise you for your generous provisions. Father, I praise you for my home.

Lord, thank you for this special place that warms my heart
I know that it cannot compare to the home that awaits me in heaven
Thank you for the bunnies that run around the grass outside
Thank you for my friendly neighbors
Thank you for allowing me the means to live here

I PRAISE YOU Lord for the generosity you've poured out onto my life

Note: in an act of worship, I'm going to be cleaning my home today!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

(Felt I had to do this for my Canadian peeps who read my blog!)

Taking a break from 40 Days of Praise to celebrate Canada! Sorry the Stanley Cup is in North Carolina right now. Well, maybe not so sorry... ; )

Oh Canada!
Thank you for SCTV
Barenaked Ladies
Kids in the Hall
Mike Meyers
And John Candy, God Rest His Soul
Thank you for awesome Hockey!
Beautiful Jazz Festivals
And beautiful hearts for God!