Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Oh my...so much going on...I have (yet again!) neglected blogging.

Life's been so full for me as of late. I was married a little more than a month ago...and leading up to that...my life's circumstances changed dramatically. Looking back, I suppose it would have been nice to have been blogging my way through but it wasn't in the cards.

Today I'm just thinking about YOU. About anyone who is still reading this blog or drops in from time to time. I drop in on your blogs too. I'm grateful for the blogging community which provides each of us with a wealth of people who like to not only read about people like me (!) but on occassion, will give advice, send well-wishes and even pray for me. Thank you, cyber-friends.

Northern California is going well. I am enjoying being married and living with my husband and our sons...yes, my son moved in with us too. So we've got a busy household a few nights a week (some nights, my husband's sons are with their mom). The busyness of the house has helped me from lamenting too long or feeling the anxiety and depression which inevitably follows too much isolation for me. So thank you, Lord. You are GOOD. Continually, abundantly, remarkably GOOD.

I've experienced some profound losses recently. With many of those losses (like the loss of my old small group) the Lord has replaced the emptiness with something new...like my current small group whom I deeply love. Yet one of the losses cannot be replaced and I find myself aching intensely when I think about it.

Without going into too much detail, a friend of mine asked that we part ways after she expressed that I had done some things that hurt her. We never really talked it out...she sent me an email explaining her feelings and declined an invitation to talk on the phone (as we no longer live in the same area).

I remember the last time I called her. It was just to say "hey, I heard this song on the radio...I'm laughing...I want to share with you..." Gee, I want to blog more on the subject but I need to leave it alone...

I was thinking back recently to the time when I first began this blog. My friend encouraged me to write and I found that it was my salvation in my darkest times. Through writing I've learned much. I have something to say. There are people who still want to listen. God loves me so much.

When I started this blog I was leading a small group and oh my goodness those times were hard. I didn't know the first thing about what I was doing and I made so many mistakes. It was like I couldn't help but make mistakes. I met some really wonderful people in my first small group. I know that the Lord put us all together and I still communicate with many of those people.

We were a bunch of people, mostly people who had returned or turned recently to Christ, and we really cared about one another. I used to grow frustrated when people didn't show up or take the study seriously (I took it all far to personally). I used to want everyone's walk to be exactly as my own.

Since then, I've faced issues with my co-dependency, my controlling-nature, my anxiety and fears. And the answers are always always always the same...go to God, take it to God, trust God.

Someone was sharing the story where Jesus asked Peter to get out of the boat and walk on the water...the more Peter began to THINK, the faster Peter began to SINK. For an intense person like me ... writing can SOMETIMES be a huge trap. Too much THINK...too much SINK. So I try not to over-analyze so much. Hmmmm, let me re-state that. I try not to think too much without talking to God about it first because often times, He has the answers. He is just waiting for me to quiet myself down so he can share them with me.

So that's the extent of my blog for now...you know, too much thinking and all...thank you for continuing to read and care...our intersections are gifts from God!!


Blogger TiNA said...

Thank God for RSS Readers :) It let's me see when people post. I love you Danielle. I hope you do start blogging again when you can. It is so good to read and keep up with you now that you live so far away.

8:30 PM  
Anonymous gracie said...

Congratulations to the two of you... hope the day was filled with beautiful memories to treasure always.

ps I don't blog much either lately, but I still check all my fav bloggers in bloglines :)

7:58 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

Thanks, Gracie! It is so good to hear from you and know you are still "checking in" on me! God Bless!

2:35 PM  
Blogger Shenna said...

You got married! Where has the time gone. Congrats to you both. I'm sure this IS a time of adjustment, especially having to move and all. So much has transpired since we last talked. If you think of me, pray for us. My husband got laid off and times are extremely tough! But, I'm excited to see how God is going to grow us! Keep shining girl!

7:15 PM  

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