Monday, August 25, 2008

Rad and I talked a bit last night about my life and the changes I've been going through.

The transition to Northern California was tough and easy at the same time. I had a great man waiting for me, a great church and God. But I left behind some good friends and opportunities to participate in ministries as a single woman.

Much of my time these days is spent keeping the new house in order and looking for work. It takes a lot of work to keep the house tidy especially since we are somewhat crammed into a small space. My husband's house was packed before I arrived. After I got here with my things and then my son moved in, things were even more cluttered.

I've spent a lot of time cleaning the garage and making space inside the house. I've taken several trips to Goodwill to deposit items we aren't using or don't need or have 2 of. I've enjoyed the work - the feeling of participating in my new life, the feeling of making things nice and more comfortable for my new family.

I read a Max Lucado devotional the other day where he stressed that our first ministry is at home, with our family. This is something I'm getting used to. It is just hard to give up some of that control. When you're single, you can pick from a smorgasboard of ministries. It was a time in my life where I experienced a tremendous amount of freedom. But I think I knew that and I did live my single life to its fullest. I have no regrets, only really wonderful memories.

I think being married is the toughest thing I've ever done as a single person. (and you can quote me on that! haha)

Being married requires me to compromise, humble myself daily, have patience, have faith and work through conflict again and again and again.

I see now how ministry prepared me for marriage. The tougher the service in His name, the closer I got to being ready for marriage. That isn't to say that I didn't fail miserably in the "work through conflict" department - I did. Well, I failed some of the time, not all of the time. But all that I put into humbling myself, forgiving others and alternately holding my tounge and expressing my feelings in a healthy way (a craft I've yet to master but I'm getting decidedly more proficient with each trial)has contributed to preparing me for marriage.

My husband and I have conflict every day. Some would say "well, why did you marry that person?" Because our marriage is the most God-centered, fruitful relationship that I've had. It is authentic and real which means we bring our REAL, UNMASKED selves to the table and neither of us is perfect!

I pray that my new mom-ministry will be fruitful. I have my own son living with us now. He's 18 and in college. He has tremendous talent but we haven't the means to send him to art school right away. I still need to work on healthier boundaries with him and letting go. Then there are my husband's sons. They are getting used to me and me to them. I want to humble myself and be glad for the work and trials involved. I also want to be a healthy example of a woman who loves Jesus.

I know God has brought me to this point and I know, no matter how tough, I'll get through this with His strength. On my own strength, I'd be toast!


Blogger Julie said...

Oh my gosh... I'm so glad you are posting again. Everytime I went onto your blog it was the June 6th post... I had all but given up, but you've restored my hope (haha)

2:34 PM  
Blogger Gardenia said...

Wow - melding families is such hard work, not to mention being married is such hard work, LOL! But that's my advice - having and still doing both, is to stop and laugh and don't take things too seriously. You've come so far and worked so hard, and your heart is certainly in the right place.....hope you enjoy this period of making your nest for your family and those who are given to ministry too

4:55 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

Thank you, Julie for your kind comments! Love you!

Diana - it blesses me that you continue to read and to speak words of encouragement into my life. You are a gem!

11:52 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

Hey -- You're blogging again! Well, sort of. Looks like it's been a while but I'll definitely be waiting for more. Hope you're doing well and taking good care of the boys... and yourself.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I just left a message in the previous post, thinking it was this one. I forgot to leave my e-address -

6:56 AM  

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