PRAYERS REQUESTED
ONE DOOR IS CLOSING
I have been informed that my job contract will indeed end this month. They are choosing not to renew. I have mixed feelings about this.
For those of you who have read my testimony, you know that I went through a rough employment period that lasted for about 2 years. During that time I did everything from data entry to selling cars...used ones at that.
I know God will open a door.
ADDITIONAL PAIN
My son has moved back in with his father. I fear I will be asked to pay child support again. It seems a further insult to a mother. My son's father has purchased him a car, thrown in a personalized license plate and now wants to offer him the option of testing out of high school. This would mean no diploma for my son. My patience is being tested, yet I remain strong in the Lord.
APPLICATION IN HAND
It is time now for me to apply to go on staff at my church. I will be part time. I have been waiting to do this since last Christmas. I have been asked to help drive the Single Parent Ministry. This seems especially painful to me as nothing has been more painful than being a single mother. But God has been faithful. I know my heart is being called to serve and I find that to be asked is a privilege.
RWANDA
I remain focused on preparing my heart for Rwanda. I continue to pray my way through what feels like attacks. I am hurting this week but strong in the Lord. I stand assured that Christ is risen. I stand assured that God is in the details.
"My troubles turned out all for the best--
they forced me to learn from (God's) textbook." --Psalm 119:71
MY PRAYER
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Lord, you are awesome, and I love you.
Father, I praise you through this pain
Lord, I give all my fears to you
After all, it's you who gave me my wit,
my ability to write,
to laugh,
to love
Even better, it's you who gave me my son.
Damnit, God...I know I'm gonna get through this...
And I wouldn't have my life any other way
Lord, I won't back down
I am strong in you
Trying hard to be patient with your work
Yet there's still so much to be done in me
Just get to it
Get on with it
Because tonight it hurts a lot
Slam the damn doors and open me up to your light
Slam the anxiety in my head
Tear into the exhaustion in my heart
And address these scars
Tell me you understand
Over and over and over
You tell me you understand
Jesus, my savior, I know you understand
I'm not even a minor player in all of this
I seem hardly worthy that you've gotten me this far
and when you showed the disciples your scars
you showed us you were hurt too
you said that we were worth the great price you paid
you made my scars mean something to you
you made my voice mean something to you
you made my motherhood mean something to you
My gratitude tonight is full inside of me
My trust in you abundant
Amen.
~Danielle