TAKE THE TIME TO BE OKAY
Typically, I don't post too many personal photos. I tend to grab them from the Internet. But as I have tons of pictures from my trip, I hope you won't mind me working with these for a while.

To be honest, I spend a lot of time looking at them. I have been gazing over and over them. Psalms come to mind, Paul's letters come to mind, the gospels ring in my head and heart. What an honor it is to be loved by God.

It was official last week. I'm now on staff with my church. Part time, that is. I am going to be serving in the Single Parent Ministry. I don't know what to say about being a single parent other than it's tough. It's tough but God has blessed me with a really wonderful son.

I am up late tonight blogging. My son starts school tomorrow but he went back over to his father's house. I could tell he wasn't too crazy about leaving. I could tell he felt guilty as well as conflicted. It isn't fair to him that he shares time between our homes. I am often at a loss as what to do. I have told him that he could go back to living with his father full time but it isn't what he wants. I tell him I will support him living with me full time but he cannot express his desires to his father. Sometimes, when my son is here, I hear him on the phone with his dad, his dad asking him "what's wrong with me? don't you love me?" It is heartbreaking and I wish his father wouldn't put him through this.

What I have done is surrender this situation to God. What I have done is decided that to be obedient to God, I will serve other single parents. I've been through a lot. My son has too. And yet, God has had his healing hand upon us for the last few years. God has been so very faithful in every measure. In every moment. We're gonna make it through.


FOR FORREST

My son,
I miss you tonight
thinking about the argument we had about the XBOX
and your class schedule
and too many Monster drinks
thinking about how I washed your t-shirts this weekend
and your one pair of jeans
to get you ready for your junior year

My son,
I miss you this moment
wondering if I'll get addicted to late-night writing and coffee again
if you spend too much time away from me
wondering if you'll remember to pray at your dad's
wondering if you'll remember to brush your teeth
and the braces I just paid off

My son,
I'm amazed
that God would give me you
and create such a marvelous path
out of my heartbreak
and create such peace
with His promises

For although we can't always be together
we love the same God
and He loves us
and part-time anything is better than no-time
and part-time anything feels, my son, like full-time
because not a minute goes by that I'm not your mother
and what a gift this is to my soul..

...and this will be enough until I see you

~Mom