ROCKY MOUNTAINS
Next weekend I will be giving my testimony for the first time at my church. This is a big step for me.
I spent some time with a pastor last week and the woman organizing the event to talk about my life and seek guidance on what I should share. Their answer was simple: share whatever the Spirit leads you to share.
I think the parts of my life where I screwed up are easy to tell. That's probably because I am the kind of person who has always been hard on herself. I mean, it is just like me to say: don't do the stupid things I did. But it isn't so easy to open up the parts of my life where I felt I was victimized or manipulated. Some pain in life is unavoidable. And I still feel a bit tender-hearted over some things.
I find, that even after surrendering my life to the Lord and after a couple years of private counseling, I still beat myself up for things I didn't have any control over. I am still a victim sometimes in my mind.
I'm not sure WHY I feel this way. Sometimes, I feel really strong...sometimes, not so strong. It all comes rushing back to me.
Friends, there have been mountains in my life. I suppose a few are still out there for me to climb. But I face them with the strength of my Redeemer. Lord, tonight I'm loving you...I'm holding onto you.
Father, all that I am I owe to you
My mind, my heart, my soul, my strength
All of it belongs to you
All of it remains healthy because of you
For you redeemed me
You paid the price for me
And I love you
I am so grateful for You
Lord, I see the mountains
those behind me
those before me
And I am no longer afraid
And I know it's gonna take more work
For me to be okay
I just ask that you bring me what I need
Or whom I need
Lord, I want things to be okay inside me
I wish I could shake some stuff off
But you know why it isn't going to be that easy
So I'm giving this to you
Father, no one but you can make it right
For the Holy Spirit gives me strength
And your love gives me momentum
To take my healing higher
posted by Danielle at 2:08 PM
11 Comments:
I don't know why it doesn't all happen at once, or why it isn't easier. I too beat myself up if I stop and really think about stuff of the past. But I have to stand on the scriptures, cling to them for dear life and sanity - and try to remember to give myself the same Grace my dear Lord gives to me.
I do remember when I got baptized in the Holy Spirit and I realized He wasn't mad at me. His love washed over me, and I felt His grief too because all that was bad hurt me so much and my reactions to the bad that weren't always so healthy didn't make him mad, only hurt Him. That was the most freeing revelation of my life. He is the true perfect parent - His hurt over me was because I had been hurt. I think the same with you.
Be like God, be kind and be loving and be forgiving of yourself. I think the hardest person to forgive in life is ourselves. Be blessed, sweetie.
Diana - my sweet soul sister, thank you! I needed to hear this. : )
I am sure God will speak through you perfectly.
No worries... He has it under control!
"Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1-2
I've walked (and am walking) where you have been and are. But always, He has been with me and I have had prayer warriors when I've been too weary to pray.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
Your love will be an inspiration!
Remember what you say to me on that poem, right back to you: "No mountain is your match!" Praying for you and that your testimony will touch the lives of many women, as you have touched mine. Love ya.
D, I'm really diappointed I can't make it on Saturday.. I ended up getting 4 clients, and couldn't afford to turn them all down. But you will be in my prayers. Your life and testimony have already, but will continue to touch and bless many! Thankyou for being a part of my life. God bless you.
You could wrap up your testimony with the poem you just wrote!
On a side note, I just want you to know that every time I hear a testimony I am so encouraged. You will be an encouragement to your church family!
Too kind, ya'll. Too kind. And, Shenna, I like your idea!
Janine and Sister G. - thank you always for your tender support!
Thanks ma'm
You have a beautiful heart..I must say
Your writing too touches the heart
I just know He is with us every step of the way. Through pain & fear, through times of calm & happiness.
He loves us so... Just as we are. What an awsome, powerful, but gentle & loving God we serve.
When I read the Christian blogs, I often think: What a beautiful army we are for Christ. Every member in the Body has its perfect place!
God bless & keep you!
You did an amazing job this weekend!!! I am so proud of you! I know God used you to touch so many lives. I know it is not easy to share, but you were brave and people responded. Keep telling your story! Keep reaching more for Jesus. People need to see REAL people who love Jesus! You are my hero.
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