Thursday, January 12, 2006

STARFISH

I gazed again at the picture of that starfish. The ones I remember seeing were much thicker. And when I think back to that day I swam around the starfish, I remember my heart longed to remain in those waters forever. In fact, I never wanted to leave Mexico.

It was hard for me for a while to want to live in Southern California. There was nothing here for me but brokeness and reminders of bitter events. These days, things are so much better but this past week has been, plainly, rotten.

My son is considering moving back in with his father. I am a wreck. I prayed last night to God and thanked Him for the past few months my son has been here. Even if this is all the time I'll ever get with him, I told God that it is enough. Just this small bit of his life has been enough.

My heart is aching. I continue to praise God through these trials. Lord, hear my prayer:

Father, you are a just God
and you see the depths of my heart
and you know my son is good and that he loves you
protect my son from harm
protect my son from ill-guidance
allow myself and other godly persons to be a light unto him

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