LOVE IS ALL AROUND US...
I want to take some time tonight to talk about what happened when I went through counseling. I think counseling is necessary for many of us and here's why.

There are things that happen in our lives...situations that we perceive within us to be harmful, hurtful. These things pile up and many of us feel anger and resentment at a subconscious level. Most of the time, we're not even aware of it. All we know is that something doesn't feel right. And, if you are like me, you don't want to be unkind to anyone, so you take that anger and resentment out on yourself. Oh, maybe you do this without even being aware you are doing it. You take short breaths in life, afraid to completely fill your lungs with the love and compassion you truly deserve...because you don't BELIEVE you deserve it.

The biggest area that is affected when we feel anger or resentment within is our capacity for "self-love." This can translate into damaged or plainly, poor self-esteem. Because of this we get romantically involved with the wrong people, we hang on to lousy jobs, we let go of our dreams too easily or we just mull about life and tell ourselves, "this is my lot...better do what I can to enjoy it." Like, how stupid is this?

But see, it is convenient to give up, to give in. And stupidly, we just continue to take this anger and pain out on ourselves. We find little glimpes of what is really troubling us when we're drunk or high or when calamity strikes our lives...we discover we are on the verge of breaking...but we never quite break...

What troubles me is that so many REALLY NEED TO GET HELP...but they are afraid to. They are afraid to "go digging" -- which is what counseling does. Well...I think good counseling can facilitate one to a greater self-awareness and as we become more self-aware, more truthful...we get to the bottom of what's troubling us. Many of us never slow down to really peel back the layers of our resentment or of our boredom with self and with life. We just plug away. We get comfortably "numb" as the Pink Floyd song says.

As the layers were peeled back during my counseling sessions...I realized something very important: I realized that I wanted to live. I wanted to live and more than anything, I wanted the real ME to live. That is the point to which counseling got me.

RECONNECTING WITH GOD
I needed to plug into a higher power to get me to the next level. I knew I wanted to live and I was self-aware enough to know that I did not want to repeat past mistakes. I needed to learn HOW TO LOVE again. And I needed to know THAT I AM LOVED. With that knowledge...with the knowledge that God is here, I could move forward, heal and begin to grow.