CAN WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it! There's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation 1879 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation 1915."
I said, "Die heretic scum," and pushed him off.

--Emo Philips