WONDERFUL SO WONDERFUL
IS YOUR UNFAILING LOVE

Forgetting those things that are behind, I press on towards the mark of the high calling. Philippians 3:14

Friends, thank you for your emails and kind comments of late. I've been taking some time out for deeper reflection, to bathe in God's love for me. To basically, come to some hard conclusions about my life and surrender to my gentle, gentle Lord.

True confession:I often write from a place that desires to control.

The anxiety.
The voices in my head.
The complexity of being human in a broken world.
The complexity of my own ego.

My addiction to self-reason has come at the cost of a deeper relationship with the King of my heart.

But that is not to say that I am doing this all the time that I write. I am implying there is a balance here. My desire to write and ability to do so is a gift from God. I realize more and more that it is His desire that I use this gift for His glory, not to the detriment of my own burning desire to heal from the on again/off again anxieties that seek to control and have nearly ruined my life.

And I hope I am not hitting any sensitive spots here with other writers...friends, I Iove to read your blogs. Your love-letters to God and self-expressions.

This is more about me.
Well, this is more about HIM.

GOD OF RESTORATION, REDEMPTION, FORGIVENESS
So I needed time to refresh in the Holy Spirit before proceeding with anymore posts. And in my desire to kick this post off tonight, I wanted to share these photos with you.

These are photos of whom I love.

These are photos of whom God loves and has graciously gifted to me. Their love for me in hand with the Lord's has brought me to this place of deeper surrender.



But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, "Papa! Father!" Doesn't that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you're also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance. Galatians 4:4-7

...born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law.

I was kidnapped at an early age. Whatever sweetness existed in me was replaced with a great amount of responsibility for which I had no control over. Subsequently, I have moved through life without a clear understanding of boundaries or how much weight I could actually withstand.

Yeah. I just sorta "pile it on."

I was joking with TiNA last week that 2006 was the year of "Whatever it takes, Lord!" but that 2007 was gonna be the year of "Say What!?"

Because, you know, we all get a charge out of being used by God and watching our ministries and personal relationships develop due to the watering and weeding we put into them. And that's okay.

But like, who gardens at night? When the sun drops, isn't is time to rest? To renew?

How much weight tonight can you withstand? And how long can you go in your relationships. Ministry-related, work-related, intimately-related or otherwise until you break?

...Doesn't that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you're also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.

I am not a slave and yet I've been imprisoned to a certain degree by my ego, my desire to help others before helping myself because in that co-dependency, I have found self-worth and a reason to ignore that I needed to tend to my own hurts. Yet I want to be CLEAR here. I serve out of my love for God. I OVERSERVE and NEGLECT REST and SABBATH because I am not allowing God to bathe me.

It's 2007 and time for me to embrace God's promises, His grace and the child in me whom He loves and desires to tend to.

The question for me was always: Will I Allow Him?

Will I allow Him?
Will I risk?
Will I let go? Step back. Step away.



I PRESS ON TOWARDS THE HIGHER MARK
I resigned from my current project last week and have reduced my working hours to 20 per week. I'm going to rent out the empty rooms in my house to make up for the loss of income. This week I will attend a program at my church to address some of my deeper wounds. I am going to fall freely into my calling to help build the Single Parent Family Ministry at my church for God's glory. And I'm going to take Sabbath each week (which I have actually been trying to do for the last 4 months and although I don't have a perfect track record, I've been doing it and it feels wonderful!)

...oh yeah, and I'm gonna get a FREAKING HOBBY outside of Blogging! : )

Friends, keep me in prayer. I have heard clearly some of the plans God has for me. In this season of personal renewal, I am surrendering to those plans and allowing God to tend to me as He has desired.


Praise God! I am no longer a slave!

Egypt is behind me.

Bring on the wilderness.