PROMISES
There's a band named Marillion that I used to listen to alot. They have this song called "Easter." And although the song never did strike me as being specifically about Easter, the beautiful chorus has been ringing in my head all weekend.







"Easter here again
A time for the blind to see
Easter
Surely now can all of your hearts be free"

I've had a lot on my mind this Easter. I was up at 4am this morning. I'm fixing coffee now and some biscuits and I'm gonna chill a little and do some writing and some blogging.

I'm taking a break from work until the first of May. My project wound down considerably so I asked for an extension on my contract and am taking a few weeks off without pay. During this time, I've chosen to do some very considerate reflecting about where my life is headed and I also will be going to England to visit my sister. (So I won't be blogging for at least a week...but I'll be back!!)

I'm very excited about my trip to Rwanda. I'm overjoyed that there will come a time when I can go work for my church...or better yet, be considered for an internship. I'd made a promise to myself and God around Christmastime. The man I went on a date with reminded me that I'd shared this promise with him the night we met in January.

I said that I would not date until after I returned from Rwanda. He asked me about this on our date last week and his gentle challenge to me has been ringing in my head.

"Easter, here again...
a time for the blind to see..."

Things seemed to be on a nice roll and I was pretty sure he was gonna ask me out again. I think we hit it off. When he called me tonight I told him that I needed to keep my promise and not date until after my missions trip this summer.

He respected my decision completely. I had prayed before we spoke that God would prepare his heart...that he would already know what I was going to tell him and he did know. We prayed together before we hung up and I felt peace.

I felt Psalm 23 in my heart...

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

This is my deepest desire. To dwell in the house of the Lord forever. I feel God's love so intently in my heart. I spent the better part of last week thinking about a man when I needed to be considering all the changes going on in my life right now. I made that promise "in my right mind" and after several tearful and revealing conversations with God. But I praise God for the experience of having been asked out by a really cool guy because I think I was going out of my mind wondering what broke!

Father, this morning I lift a special Easter prayer to you.

Lord
You are awesome
And I love you
Thank you for rising on the third day
For keeping your promise

Thank you for calling after my heart
Thank you for MAKING ME LIE DOWN in GREEN PASTURES
Not my parched, unmanaged pastures (which I quite lazily would remain grazing in if not for your love...)
Not the pastures of my mind
Not the pastures surrounding my physical impulses
Or the pastures of my desires for a man
But your green, lush pastures

Lord
Thank you for the morning star I saw when I awoke
Thank you for my girlfriends who spoke to and prayed with me this week
Who watched my heart race
Who asked me if I was ready
And listened to me say that I was
And then told me lovingly that it was okay
when I admitted that I wasn't

And father
Thank you for bringing a man into my life
Who wanted to know on our first date
"What happened to your promise?"
And respected that sometimes
I don't think so clearly
And understood
God still operates in reverse gear

Amen.

Love,
Danielle